Today is the one-year anniversary of my beautiful girl Sierra’s passing. If you’ve followed my books or social media, no doubt you’ve seen many photos of her, and read stories about her as well. But photographs and words can’t express the depth of my grief over her loss. I’m no stranger to grief, having lost other dogs and human family members. When our dog Mojo died, it took me a very long time to be okay again. But Sierra was my soul dog and constant companion, laying by my feet as I worked, encouraging me now and then to take a break and just enjoy our time together. No matter what type of day I was having, just petting her and seeing her look lovingly into my eyes always made it better. When I lost her, something broke inside me. It will never be the same.
People who don’t have dogs may not be able to understand just how deeply their loss can cut. But those of us who have shared our lives with these amazing beings, who have had that one special heart dog, or soul dog, understand all too well. Here is a poem I wrote for Sierra when she was ten years old and beginning to slow down. I’ve never posted it before, as I don’t normally share much that’s very personal on social media...but I know many of you can relate. Hold your dogs close while you can.
For Sierra
When the Mighty Mojo Man took his last breath
I thought it would be mine as well
A year floated by on a saltwater sea
and then I found you
soft fur pressed against cold metal bars
leaning into hope
I knew you were mine
Now 10 years intertwined
we round the trails
you racing ahead
but always stopping to look back
waiting for me
Mommy’s Little Predator
spies a rabbit
does a quick time-speed calculation
then wistfully looks away
The hitch in your gait
the slow of your step
makes it hard not to think
about the inevitable
But the sparkle in your eyes
your keen lust for life
remind me to live in the moment
as you, my greatest teacher, does
When the time comes
when you put on that final burst of speed
and race where I cannot follow
I know you’ll be stopping to look back
waiting for me.
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This is so relatable and Beautifuly written broughtt me straight to tears
Beautifully written. It's never, ever long enough. And for the special ones, they will always remain front and center in our hearts and minds. I hope Sierra runs into my Wylie, wherever they may be. I know they'll be friends.
I love what you've written, and the way you express your feelings. Thank you for reminding us that it's okay to feel these things. This is Maya- my soul dog; we let her go about 8 years ago. She had the best of both of her breeds: German Shepherd and Cattle Dog- protective, smart, loving and lived to chase squirrels!
It’s beautiful, Nicole. Thank you for sharing.